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Man of God.

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD. (Proverbs 18:22)”

Gentlemen, building your career, saving money, getting a huge house, and buying a sports car is NOT wrong. Problems occur when you START to get your IDENTITY on these things.

When you chase the earthly things, the devil finds an opportunity to ATTACK, and STOP you from becoming the man whom God wants you to be. You seek your IDENTITY from money, career or material things, and if it is taken away, you lose yourself. You will NEVER ACCOMPLISH SUCCESS because you are controlled by other elements. 

God wants you to have a VISION. He ordained you to LEAD and TAKE CHARGE. It is better to be MOTIVATED by a vision from God, and not from money. Make sure that your SECURITY is not from things that can be taken anytime away from you.

The biggest assignment that the devil launched against you is for you to SQUANDER your FUTURE. It hinders you from receiving the BLESSINGS, REJOICING and ENJOYING what God planned for you. 

The bible says, he who finds a WIFE finds FAVOR from God. It means — God will bless you EVEN MORE when you’re not afraid to COMMIT. 

When God knows you have a FAMILY to BUILD, He blesses you MORE with eternal and material things. A WIFE is a GIFT from God, because SHE is your HELPER. For is not good for man to be alone, and you need a helper. 

Hence, seek His kingdom first and everything shall be added to you.

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Proverbs 31 Woman. 

“For your Maker is your husband– the LORD Almighty is his name– the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. (Isaiah 54:5)”

Ladies, NEVER look for love at the wrong places. Do not allow your insecurity to cripple from broken relationships, marriages or separation of your parents. God has AMAZING PLANS for your future.

God wants you to know that He alone can give you the love you are longing for. He loves you unconditionally.

The thing is, even if a man of God comes into your life and you are not spiritually ready yet, you will only fail your future spouse. You will only put this man on a pedestal expecting him to satisfy your needs. 

Remember the bible says from Romans 3:23, “humans fall short of the glory of God.” Having said, even a GODLY MAN will sooner or later hurt you, because HE IS NOT GOD. 

Rather, allow God to work on you. Be that Proverbs 31 Woman who knows what she wants in her life.

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Idolizing Marriage.

“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:12)”

Have you ever wanted something in your life, so badly? Whether it is your job, money, fame or a person, we all have secret desires. In my case, I want MARRIAGE.

Following Jesus for almost two years takes a lot of effort. Actually, not from you, but Him. 

After submitting my life to Christ, and being single for a year, I thought I was all set. I was mentally, psychologically and physically prepared for my future spouse. I prayed hard for Him to answer. I was very impatient.

I started asking God for a husband, until He sent what I needed. Yet, I was slow and careful in entering this relationship because I never wanted to get hurt. Nevertheless, I still grabbed the opportunity because of God’s comfirmation.

Over the course of our relationship, I know HE IS THE ONE — simply because GOD SAID SO

I started rushing things, bringing the idea of marriage into it. In my mind, I have this picture of him and I saying our vows in the eyes of God. However, my future spouse isn’t ready yet. 

He asked me to wait, while working on his relationship with God and his dreams. Although I completely understand what he wants, I started losing my patience.

I started to question Jesus regarding the man He sent me. My fears crippled in my heart, and raised in my thoughts. I tried to take things on my own, almost acted in God’s behalf. 

I was selfish, not thinking about how my future spouse would feel. I constantly tried ending our relationship. Forcing him to marry me, else I would leave him. I even prayed hard to God, and asked for his wisdom over and over again if this relationship is really a part of His plans.

Until one day, I encountered this ministry about “Praying for your Future Spouse.” I realized that it is neither God nor my future spouse that was wrong, rather it was ME.

I idolized the idea of marriage. In my head, I created this picture of wedding and fairy tale endings. Thinking that it is okay to be in love with the idea because marriage is from God. The bible said, it is not good for man to be alone. So I craved for it, and I WAS WRONG. It became my IDOL.

I REPENTED and asked for God’s FORGIVENESS. I prayed for God to cleanse my heart of impurities, or anything that takes me away from His love. That He still needs to be NUMBER ONE in my life. 

I realized marriage will NEVER complete me, that it takes HARD WORK of patience and unconditional love. And I’m not quite ready for that yet.

Nevertheless, God is FAITHFUL enough to continuously work on my heart, preparing me to be the RIGHT PERSON for my future spouse. He asked me to TRY IT AGAIN, but this time, WITH HIM. Thus, simply enjoying the courting period with my boyfriend, and helping each other to grow closer to Him. 

Meanwhile, I will continue what God ordained me to do — MINISTRY. Waiting period could get lonely, but I know God is able. That He operates in SEASONS, so surely it will happen no matter how long it takes. All I need is FAITH



And to my boyfriend, know that I will wait for you — when you’re finally ready because God already told you so.

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Unselfish love.

You know it’s true love when you want them to be happy, even if you’re not a part of it.

People would ask me,

Cam, why are you not yet together?

And I would say,

because we are taking our time.

This is the normal response that I give to everyone, who would ask me why I’m not yet in a relationship with the Indian guy. On my part, I know I’ve already moved on from my previous relationship. Even before I met the Indian guy, I’m already coping with single hood. However, it’s not the case for him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to imply that he is in a relationship. Indian guy is totally single, I’m just not sure if we are on the same level.

After nine months of coming here to Manila, it was just four months ago that he broke up with his ex girlfriend. Or should I say, his ex broke up with him. He was emotionally reck and depressed after that incident. However, he had no choice but to cope with the decision that his ex made. So for four months, he’s completely single, until he met me.

For almost a month, we are exclusively seeing each other. Things are turning really good for both of us. Nevertheless, he is my perfect combination in all aspect. Unfortunately, every relationship has its flaws. In our case, I think this Indian guy is not yet over with his ex girlfriend. Occasionally, he would rant to me about his ex. He says that he is so upset that his ex girlfriend cheated on her, despite the fact that he didn’t do anything wrong. And so I would respond on the neutral state, because I don’t want to be biased. But there are times that I would feel really sad, every time he will talk to this girl. As you don’t know, his ex girlfriend is ill. She is starting to have a colon cancer, although it was not yet medically confirmed. So I being the third party on the situation, I would tell this guy that he should understand what this girl is going through because she’s sick. And so he would agree with me.

Now, he’s back in his home town for a three weeks vacation. A while ago, we were talking over whatsapp, he told me that his ex was asking if he’s back in India. He told me he wants to call the girl, so he could ask her about how she’s coping with her sickness. Actually, I was the one who suggested on him to give his ex girlfriend a call. In a few minutes from now, I think they’re probably talking to each other already.

Somehow, I feel pain inside. Maybe because I hate the fact that he still talks to his ex. But I cannot be upset on him. Why? First, we are not in a relationship. Second, his happiness, is also my happiness. For the first time, I’ve never felt this way towards someone. Normally, I would go out of the picture if I see that this guy is putting me on a rebound situation. But now, it’s not the case. Sometimes, I think this is my karma. The comeback of all the pain that I caused my ex boyfriend. For cheating at my ex and dating several men, knowing that these are all in a relationship as well. But when I remember God, I know that’s not the situation. I know I met this guy for a reason. He is in my life now either he is a blessing, or a lesson. God moves in His mysterious ways. He has greater plans for all of us. Like what I said, I was never like this before. Right now, it’s not the case.

Even if I’m in pain, even if I wish I could tell him to stop talking to his ex, I couldn’t. Instead, I’m trying to be the bigger person. I’m trying to understand the situation, even if it’s so hard to understand. And I pray to God that he may find inner peace and happiness, even if in the end, I’m not going to be a part of it.

At last, I can say that I’m ready Lord for the right person. I’m ready to fall in love once again. This time, I need your guidance. I’ll just wait for your perfect timing.