Valentines blog.

Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of your youth, And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore. For your Maker is your husband, The LORD of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.

Isaiah 54:4-5

If you are reading my blog post on the 14th of February today, let me wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day! Whether you are married or happily single, know this day is still for you. You are special and you don’t need anyone to make you happy or feel complete.

It’s funny how I couldn’t remember the last time I was single. My parents separated when I was 12 years old, so that’s probably the reason why I was in love with the idea of having someone in life. From one relationship to another, no one really satisfied me, ever. Back then, I was worldly and in love with people or things that only bring me pleasure and satisfaction.

It kept going on until the day I encountered the Lord, Jesus Christ in 2016. When I thought no one could ever see my value, God recognized my worth. When an outside voice kept on saying that no one would ever want to be with me, God loved me alone completely.

Although I was happy, I felt this longing urge to still get married. At the time, I prayed and asked God to decide for my future instead. I was okay anyway. I was happy. I’m in love with God, and I didn’t need any man to complete me.

Until I met my husband a year after, life of course gradually changed. I slowly lost myself in the idea of “idolizing my marriage and the person behind it” on which God blessed me in the first place. From God being on top, He was suddenly replaced by a man that I placed on pedestal and worshipped unknowingly.

All these issues didn’t even come to my own realization until all kinds of problems rocked my marriage, my financial situation, my health as well my daughter’s well being recently.

Now, my husband is asking for divorce and keeps on uttering words I couldn’t even contemplate. I was devastated, but I couldn’t even cry it out anymore. I’m tired, broken and lost. Yet, I didn’t take it against my husband because I knew at that moment it was NOT him speaking. It was the enemy. The silent killer of families and marriages.

Amidst all these issues, I can still hear God’s whisper that He is about to do something BRAND NEW. That He will make a WAY. That He will NEVER leave me, for He is my maker, my husband (platonic way), my best friend, my redeemer, my Lord and my Savior.

I felt comfort in God’s presence alone, just like the old days when it was just me and Him. I, however, whispered back to the Lord that I’m already tired. So tired of trying to control and fix things. Thus, I’m surrendering everything to Him including my husband and my marriage. I knew His promises for me and my husband, that He is a God of restoration, a God who doesn’t change His mind nor decisions. That therefore what the Lord joined together, let NO ONE separate.

This realization changed my entire perspective once again in life. I started to see things differently. My focus shifted on loving Jesus MORE again. I started loving the idea of being a helpmeet to the Lord through serving the church again, loving and helping other people whether they are my friends or not, family members, strangers or acquaintances, whoever it may be as long as they needed help.

Now, whether you are in the same season like me or not, I really hope and pray that you would find your purpose in life and in this world. God is always able.

Please be reminded that your happiness is not based on whether you have a partner or if you have riches nor influence. It is rather controlled by your own decisions and self worth. Your life is ultimately a gift from the Lord, and He would only desire that you would find genuine happiness, hopefully in Him as well just like how I found mine.

Happy Valentine’s day!

No filter, this is currently me.

Have you ever been in a situation wherein you just face constant difficulties? How did you go through it? Did it make you stronger or weaker?

Being a follower of Jesus Christ for seven years now does not make me or my life perfect. I have been through ups and downs wherein surely I questioned God, yet He always remains constant and faithful. Which leads to me wondering why I do I even have to doubt if God will always rescue me at the end?

Don’t take me wrong, like I mentioned earlier I’m not perfect. I doubt, I question and I get upset. Being a Christian does not make anyone perfect because if we are, then what do we need Jesus for?

This 2023 is one of those years wherein I question God why things are not going my way? Why things are so hard? Maybe some of you would think what is it to even complain about? On her social media, she seems to have a perfect life though. She seems to have mostly everything a person could ever ask, but the reality it is not.

Since beginning of the year, I have been facing a silent battle of ovarian cyst which is scheduled to be surgically removed on October. Apart from this, I have been sick in the stomach for quite some time wherein they figured that I have polyps in my colon and they need to monitor it with UT sound every 6 months if it is growing. Otherwise, again it has to be removed and subject for further testing.

My job has not been the best neither. Although I work as a customer service administrator and has the ability to work hybrid, we don’t earn much for this position in Sweden. To make it even harder the economy crisis increased our house, food, utility expenses and not to mention I support some family members in my home country.

I barely take home any salary. Honestly, I only have maybe around 200 swedish krona or 1,000 philippines pesos in my bank account every after payday. I’m blessed to have a little more if I work overtime. Sadly, not worth of all the stress we face through harsh email complaints or phone calls from customers and constant unrealistic demands of the management. Not to mention, my current job led me to seeing a Psychologist.

My marriage is intact, but I honestly haven’t been “in touch” with my husband recently. He works 24/7 and even barely at home. On days he is home, he is always into something else.

I’m not complaining that my husband is hardworking, so please do not misinterpret what I will say. But marriage requires quality time, conversation and intimacy which is needed to keep it all together. Unfortunately, I think it is being neglected. I’m not saying it’s my husband’s mistake because I know I have lapses as well. I’m a nagger and a pushover especially when I need my husband the most.

With all these on my plate, I tend to question God why don’t He just take me now? The Bible says there will be no more tears, mourning or pain for the former shall pass away (Revelation 21:4). So I can’t imagine how perfect life would be when we finally get to meet Jesus one day.

On the other hand, me asking God to take my life only shows how selfish I am. I forget that there are still people who need me and maybe, hopefully, I can still bring to their impact lives.

Being a believer and follower of Jesus means your life is all about serving Him and others, that you always have to put yourself last. Philippians 2:4 says, Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

You may start wondering then what’s the point of being a Christian? If life means dying to yourself and your desires? Trust me, I thought about it too.

However, I believe God sees everything we do for others. The things we sacrifice for His glory, He knows that and one day He will reward us. Galatians 6:9 says, And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.

We may be on winter season where everything is dark, gloomy and lonely but I have hope that all shall past. Season changes, and so are our circumstances.

If you are facing a silent battle, let me know so I could pray for you too. Know that you don’t have to go through this alone and that God is for you, and will never be against you.

Thank you for your time reading my rants and mumbling, it’s been years and it feels astoundingly refreshing to release it through writing. Until next time!

When God disrupts your plans.

It’s been 28 days since I’ve been sick with Covid-19, and this afternoon I visited the doctor for a physical check. My lungs, heart, temperature and oxygen level were all cleared by the doctor, yet somehow, I still have some of the symptoms such as palpitations, high pulse rate, chest pain, loss of smell and brain fog. The doctor suddenly implied, I might have what they call “long Covid-19 or post traumatic Covid-19 symptoms”. However, just to be sure, the doctor scheduled me for a blood test tomorrow.

My husband and I left the hospital with a relief, but left with a huge worry about my ability to engage back in my normal routine. Till date, I can’t stand too long, cook dishes for an hour or even clean the apartment. I can’t manage those tasks without catching my breath. For that reason, how will I even suppose to go back to work?

When I had the infection last March 2, I was afraid that my husband and my daughter would be infected as well. There was no proper isolation at home because no one would cook, clean or fix things at home. I had to do it most of the time.

It was indeed a MIRACLE that my family never had the infection despite the lack of physical isolation! Praise God!

As I push myself to recover from the illness, I couldn’t help but question God as to why I got the virus. Honestly, I don’t mind having the illness as long as my family is safe. However, there’s one thing I couldn’t help but wonder is why I became a “long covid hauler”?

Have I sinned so badly, considering I am a follower of Jesus? Have I not done my duties and responsibilities as a christian? What could possibly went wrong?

The verse from Ephesians 2:8-9 reminded me, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.”

So what went wrong then?

Months ago, I started to plan out my life completely. Ideas I never revealed to anyone except to my husband, my daughter and my mother. Here are some insights I had for this year till next..

• A plan to purchase a house and lot on summer of July, and eventually move out of our new apartment.

• To change my current career, and pursue early childhood teaching.

• To have a second “child”…

YES! I planned my life out, and we wanted to have a baby by next year! The only reason why we need to move to a bigger space is to allow room for our family to grow.

Until suddenly, all my plans were disrupted even threatening to lose my current job as well! With my current health condition, it is almost impossible to return to work. It means if I resign, we would lose the chance to buy our house and the rest follows.

I was tormented and broken apart! The doctor advised me that my condition would take long to recover, and it crushed me to pieces! Not being able to run like how I used to, not being able to talk without catching my breath and not being able to remember memories which I shortly forget “brain fog” after contracting Covid-19.

But these are only physical and superficial issues, because what breaks my heart even more is not being able to have another child.

Yet, despite all unprecedented constraints, I choose to continuously trust God. I know God has a reason for everything, for His thoughts are higher than mine. He is ultimately in control and all things will eventually work together for the good.

Someone said, “When God disrupts our plans, it is because Christ cares more about our transformation than about our daily comfort.”

“It’s hard to see all the little frustrating events and interruptions in our day as divinely placed opportunities to grow in grace, but they are. And seeing them as such helps us take our eyes off ourselves and put them on Christ, who cares more about our transformation than about our daily comfort. Rather than giving us a life of ease, he interrupts our lives with grace and shows us what we need most of all: JESUS, Himself.” — “Quoted from DesiringGod website”

To end it, I am still hopeful. I may not have a clear vision of what will happen in the future, but God guarantees His love through Jesus. If you happen to experience the same situation, hang on there! Never let go! Whenever God shuts one door, He opens another.

So if you’re in a season where it feels like God is just ripping up all your plans, rest. Know that it is for your good and this is only the beginning of the best of your life – what you thought was the best is ending; God’s best (the best that there could ever be) is now beginning. NOTHING can top God’s plans for you!

My unresolved marital issue.

It’s Friday, 9 o’clock in the morning, and I just cleaned our house. I did not go to work since yesterday, due to severe body ache and second, I did not sleep at all last night.

My husband and I had an argument, and it lasted the whole evening. It was the usual “hyped up” fights we normally have which I dread to resolve as soon as I can. Now, I will not go deep into details, but I probably would share tiny pieces here and there.

In two years of our marriage, we had “ups and downs”. I could say that one of the reasons of our arguments is due to living under “one roof” with his other parent. After I moved to Sweden, we did not have the luxury to afford our own place until recently, we both earned well enough.

Living with my husband’s family was alright, and I had no problems with it. However, the Bible says, God did not mince words when instructing a married couple to leave their parents. The Hebrew words used in Genesis 2:24, which states that “a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife,” mean “to forsake dependence upon,” “leave behind,” “release,” and “let go.” And it is TRUE, not separating physically, financially and emotionally brought our marriage severe issues.

Most of the time, our fights involved issues about his family living with us on the same place, and I having the feeling of abandonment. I felt we never had “space” and “freedom”.

And just to give you a brief background, my husband worked A LOT. He used to spend all hours including a day on the weekend at his office. Although I may have complaints most of the time, I always choose to understand his goals. So by the time he comes home, both of us are tired, and we rarely spend time with each other.

Now, here is where the problem comes around. Each time my husband arrives home, his family from the other house is usually delighted to speak with him as well, and there is NOTHING wrong with it. However, if the “time” used during these moments lasted “longer” than usual every day, then, I must say it is not okay. And it happens, “on repeat”.

One particular issue strike the most on which my husband and his father had a huge fight, simply for the reason that my husband chose to stay at home with me. It was CHAOS. He was completely hurt about it, and I totally blamed myself for what happened between him and his father. Yet, after all that issue, I humbled myself and asked for his father’s forgiveness. I offered as well that he and his son could go out whenever they want, regardless of how little time I have with his son.

Lately, it went smoothly until we decided to move out and chose to separate for important reasons. In connection with it, I personally thanked his father and said, “how grateful I am for his generosity towards us”. He replied, “it was okay”, “he understands”, BUT “he is nevertheless, sad about our decision”. The manner on which he said it, I felt that I was brushed off completely.

Again, it felt awful and I completely blamed myself once more for his father’s emotions. I even asked my christian friends to pray for me and this situation with my husband’s family.

Now, I know there is NOTHING wrong in telling us how he felt, but I probably expected a MORE encouraging statement like, “hey, I’m proud of you guys!”, or “I’m sad about it, but I completely support you both with your decision.” Considering and not to mention, parents should be the role models as newly married couples start their own family. To my dismay, none of it happened.

To further explain, we are only moving 30 minutes car ride away, and everyone are always welcome at our new home on special occasions. Honestly, I envy my husband because he has his family with him in Sweden. While I have mine 9,000 miles away from the other side of the world. And like I always tell my husband, I do not mind at all that he spends time with his family members and friends, as long as when he is home, he equally saves a bit of his time for us and our family to do things not involving his or my job.

You know what? I’m not perfect. I emotionally hurt my husband, and I disappoint people around me. I don’t expect my father in law or any one close to him to understand where I am coming from, but I, at least, hoped that my husband would support and talk to me about these issues.

Times like these, I question God why I ended up with an “unbeliever”. You may even say I’m insane because God is nowhere to be blamed for my decisions. However, I always know that GOD IS IN CONTROL in every season in our lives. The bible says from Romans 8:28, “In all things, God work together for our good.” In this passage, however, I remain and put my trust in Jesus even more with these marital issues.

(C) pinterest

I could only hope and pray that if the purpose of these problems are for my “sanctification”, I hope that God’s grace would bring me through it. I honestly hope too, that I could bring my husband to salvation through Jesus Christ and his family as well.

Do you, by any chance, have a similar situation? Please be encouraged that you are NOT alone. God hears you, and He is the God of peace.

Things I wish I knew before I got married.

After surrendering myself to Jesus, I thought I’m prepared to handle anything including my marriage. Now, I’ve been married for almost two years and as days go by, it gets harder and tougher. So how I wish I would have known these things before everything else.

1. Marriage is NEVER designed to make you happy.

Contrary to Hollywood romance and books, marriage will never complete you. I remember the famous line from one of Tom Cruise films, “you complete me.” It is not true!! Marriage will never complete you, neither will make you happy. Rather, God created it for your SANCTIFICATION.

Ephesians 5:25-33: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, …”

To sanctify means to change you. To make you holy. To prepare you for a life full of love, patience, selflessness and full of forgiveness.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)”

Apart from the companionship it brings us, it’s ultimately invented by God to change our character as He prepares us for an eternal life.

2. Marriage is NOT easy.

It takes a lot of adjustment from both end. It’s a constant surrender of our self pride and wishes.

I remember how I wake up every day wishing my husband will be the “dream man” I want him to be. I wish he would give in all the time, and be a “yes person” in our relationship. Unfortunately, it does not exist in my reality.

Oftentimes, I face day to day challenges in my marriage, and these things don’t come lightly. It almost pushed me away, but God is FAITHFUL.

“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Mark 10:9)”

3. Your spouse will NEVER be the same person after marriage.

People grow, and it can either be good or not. Regardless of how huge the change is with your spouse, your marriage should sum up what it means to be in love and to commit yourself to your significant other for the rest of your life.

Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

And last but not the least,

4. It takes MORE than you and your spouse to make it work.

Ecclesiastes 4:12: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

No matter how hard you both contribute to make your marriage work, only Jesus can hold you together for the rest of your life.

In my marriage, seasons change. Autumn is when we know we are about to have issues in which we need to be prepared. It could be financial, sickness or anything. While winter is often long just like the marital problems my husband and I face at times. It’s cold and dark. Times when we sometimes almost want to give up. Nevertheless, there is Spring as well. Those are the moments that marriage is a little more calm, and smooth sailing. It brings out new beginnings. And there’s Summer. It is often the season we almost look forward and during these times, we hope to invest more in our marriage and enjoy the blessings from God.

Now, if you are to ask me whether I regret anything after marriage, the answer is NO.

I don’t regret marrying my husband. I may have set the bars too high, but it’s good to know that he is not Jesus. He could never make me happy, nor complete me. He is not a christian YET, but I believe God who He gave His one and only Son Jesus to revive us from death, is faithful.

Furthermore, I have no regrets with my marriage, in general. I may be a christian, but I am not perfect. If I was, I would have not needed God’s grace in my life every day.

I fail, I hurt and I cause pain towards my husband, but it doesn’t mean I would stop loving him just like how much God loves me. Likewise, divorce is never an option for me and my husband. We strive to make things work through Jesus. I want to be able to look back and see my grand children say, “hey! That’s my grandpa and grandma, and they have been married for 50 years because Jesus was in the center of their marriage!”

So if you’re STILL single and God makes you wait, I say.. REJOICE! I don’t mean it in a bad way because I completely understand how difficult it is to wait for the right person and to be married. However, the reality is there is NO ONE right for you. God’s ultimate goal is to make you the right person for your future spouse, not the other way around.

Another reality is that God loves you, and He has great plans for your future. Don’t rush. Let love find its way to you.

“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. (Song of Solomon 8:4)”

The fear of losing my husband.

The past few weeks, I have been dealing with great anxiety in my life brought by different circumstances. I have to pass the drivers license test, I need to get “the job” that will really “suit” me professionally, and my husband.

Although there are different reasons, I would stick to one issue which is my husband and our marriage. Lately, I have been nagging my husband so bad that some nights we ended up fighting. The last argument we had lead me threatening for “divorce”.

As a Christian, divorce should NEVER be an “option”. However, we had a huge fight that time wherein I couldn’t contain my anger and I just bursted. I know it was wrong, and it was my fault.

At first, I thought the issue was that all. But I also have this fear of “infidelity” in our marriage. I have a feeling that since my husband does not share the same belief, he would just cheat on me one day. Not to mention, I have been a nagging wife lately.

For weeks, I have been dealing with this fear despite reading God’s word and hearing the promises of Jesus over and over. I had series of conversations with my Christian friends, and yet my fear doesn’t go away. What could possibly be wrong?

So I started to PRAY. Prior to writing this blog post, I was reading articles and praying at the same time. I started to be honest towards Jesus, and let Him know about my anxieties and worries. Not that He is not aware, but the bible says that we should cast all our fears to Him (1 Pet 5:7). I repented and cried my heart out to the Lord because I couldn’t understand myself anymore. Where are these issues in my heart coming from?

And God was faithful, He made me realize the real problem.

It was not my husband, neither the fear of infidelity as well. It was my HEART. It was the “sin of idolatry”. I loved my husband too much, and idolized our marriage more than Jesus… again. I neglected the fact that my FIRST LOVE should always be GOD.

The bible says, “Love the Lord with all your heart above anyone else (Matt 22:37).” It speaks clearly that the first commandment of God is to love Him above all else. That anyone who replaces our love for God is definitely an idol.

Trust me, it’s not good to have an idol in our lives. The fear of losing my husband made me forget that marriage will never complete me. That only God can fully satisfy me. The bible says, “We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).” If I don’t love Jesus first above everything, I wouldn’t be able to fulfill my marital duties as a wife.

I will constantly place my husband on a pedestal, and expect him to please me in all ways. And if he fails, I would be broken-hearted and blame our marriage for my dissatisfaction. That’s why it’s a good reminder what the bible says, only God can give us the unconditional love we are longing for.

I am a work in progress. God’s will for me and for you is to make us holy and pleasing in His eyes. Marriage is one of His ways to make us holy. I truly hope to overcome the idolatry, and come back fully to His arms just like a child who went back to his dad to be loved once more.

I love my husband, but I love Jesus above Him because at the end of the day, Jesus died for me. That He gave His life for me on the cross 2000 years ago, so that I could be forgiven of my sins and have an eternal life with Him by accepting Him as my Lord and Savior (Rom 6:23).

At the end of the day, I wouldn’t meet my husband if not because of Jesus. He created my love story. And He alone can also write yours.

Waiting.

Have you ever found yourself waiting? Did you ever feel frustrated while you wait?

Well, you are not alone. I am on the exact same page, as you are.

Recently, my husband and I are waiting for our resident permit to be granted. It’s been five months of waiting, and we are still hoping to receive a favorable response from the migration.

A while ago, we received an email from migration informing us that the waiting time is 14 to 21 months.

Upon reading, I felt my whole world shake! After praying and fasting, obeying God’s word, and trying to do what makes Him happy, were apparently not good enough.

I started to question why a loving God would never allow me to be reunited with my husband, and my daughter to start school abroad.

Nevertheless, I kept my composure and quiet myself, while meditating on prayer and God’s word. Without expectations, God provided wisdom.

Then, I knew I was wrong. Who am I to ask God on my situation, when He is the one who placed me on it right from the very beginning? If He decided to bless me in the first place, why would He limit His own blessings to His child (Mat 7:11)?

I was moved and humbled. God’s blessings does not depend on my righteousness. Rather, it solely depends on His grace (2 Cor 9:8).

Now, as I wait for God’s perfect timing, I know His ways and thoughts are higher than mine (Isa 55:8-9). That no matter how long I wait, He who is faithful will keep His promises (Deut 7:9).

If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, have faith and trust God. He will surely answer your prayer. ❤️

**photo credits to The Silver Pen and Shutterstock

Why I stopped counting days in marriage.

Lately, I see articles and stories on why marriage don’t last forever. In fact, statistic shows that 4 out of 5 couples opt for legal separation during their prime years.

As a follower of Jesus, the challenge is how not to be a part of the norm? Sadly, the world view marriage only as a part time contract.

Being married for less than a year, indeed is a GREAT CHALLENGE!

To share a few,

My husband and I are completely, if not, extremely different. We have different views, perspective and characteristics. He is hot, I am cold. He is introvert, I am extrovert. He is precise, I exaggerate a lot. Not to mention, we grew up from different cultures and countries.

Thus, I must say, MARRIAGE is NOT EASY. It is a day to day SANCTIFICATION process!!!

In fact, I was NEVER the SAME PERSON I used to be when I was single — selfish, egocentric, overly jealous and controlling.

However, God is FAITHFUL to CHANGE ME day by day through my HUSBAND. Don’t take me wrong, I am FORGIVEN and FREE through the GRACE of GOD even before marriage.

Nevertheless, I am spiritually and emotionally renewed by God after exchanging vows with my husband.

Having said, MARRIAGE made me realized that APART FROM GOD, you will really never make it.

My spouse and I, needed to hold on, hand on hand with Jesus during the course of our marriage… until death do us part.

My take away?

Love is a constant choice of sacrifices, acceptance and forgiveness. These are the things I realized, while dating my husband with Jesus Christ.

Jesus, being part of our marriage is the only reason why I stopped counting days, months and anniversaries. A marriage built on Christ, is meant to last forever.

Photo Credits: google and pinterest

Marrying Him is God’s Will.

It’s 3AM, and I am still wide awake..

I feel restless today, so I thought of continuing the post I wrote earlier about…

“I married an unbeliever”

It’s almost two months, since I came back to Philippines. With a heavy heart, I managed living apart from my husband in Sweden. It was never easy especially on realizing things after marriage.

However, God is faithful to hold on to His promises in my life, particularly in marriage. Despite the backslide, a few bumps along the way, little I know God indeed was guiding me all the way.

Marrying my husband is God’s will. Yes, it is His will. If you are a follower of Jesus, there is no accidents with Him. God, being sovereign as always, is in complete control. Likewise, He is and will always be in charge of my life.

Amidst confusion, God is faithful. He revealed to me His plans for my husband, our marriage and his faith in this verse from Romans 15:13,

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

It is the same verse on which God used to speak to me, when God revealed who my husband will be.

Now, if you happen to be on the same road of confusion, like what I had earlier? Never let go of God. Keep praying, believing while standing firm in faith.

Even if you don’t see changes in your situation or circumstances, keep on seeking Him. Is anything too hard for God?

Credits: Pinterest (photo)

I married an unbeliever..

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

2 Corinthians 7:10

Have you ever committed a mistake knowingly or unknowingly? Did you realize the need of repentance?

After four months of settling down with my husband, my life became different. It was a process of day-to-day sanctification. True enough, married life is not easy.

My husband is a foreigner (Swede national), and we met last 2016. After almost a year of dating, we decided to get married with the blessing of our parents. Our relationship was up and down, due to difference of faith. I am a Christ follower, and he is not.

With all these prayers, I thought that God have agreed upon my decision to be yoked with a non believer. I decided to shut down voices of my Christian friends, asking me to pray more and decipher God’s will.

If you know me, or want to know my life story, click the link below:

Public Testimony

After marriage, I stayed in his home (Sweden) for half a year. We had issues with relocation process, hence, I went home (Philippines) a week ago.

Ever since I went back, my mind was filled with depressing thoughts. I am living with anguish, not knowing where is it coming from. On bended knees, I asked God why was I sent back home for a while. Is there a purpose to be fulfilled? Why, Lord? Those were the questions which clouded my mind.

Depression affected my marriage, that each time I talk to my husband, we just end up arguing.

Until this morning, I woke up with severe anxiety. My bothered thoughts led me to researching about divorce: unbelieving spouse.

Not knowing what I will find, God is faithful enough to lead me to a SIN, I unconsciously/consciously did — I married an unbeliever.

The bible was very clear (2 Cor 6:14), not to be equally yoke with unbelievers. Indeed, I inflicted pain towards God, and in return, received God’s wrath in my life.

My heart was trembling, and tears went down from my eyes. Immediately, I prayed and repented continuously. Indeed, I am in deep sorrow.

The consequences of my action led me to a godly sorrow, which caused my repentance towards God. I surrendered my marriage in every aspect, and prayed for God to strengthen me in submission to my unbeliever husband despite the circumstance (Eph 5:22-33).

Not knowing how everything would turn out, I know God has forgiven me. In fact, the bible says from 1 John 1:9, God is faithful to forgive if we confess our sins, and He will purify us from all unrighteousness.

Thus, my hope and prayer is that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, and were called according to His purpose (Rom 8:28).

To be continued…

**credits to the owners of above photos attached**