0

Proverbs 31 Woman. 

“For your Maker is your husband– the LORD Almighty is his name– the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. (Isaiah 54:5)”

Ladies, NEVER look for love at the wrong places. Do not allow your insecurity to cripple from broken relationships, marriages or separation of your parents. God has AMAZING PLANS for your future.

God wants you to know that He alone can give you the love you are longing for. He loves you unconditionally.

The thing is, even if a man of God comes into your life and you are not spiritually ready yet, you will only fail your future spouse. You will only put this man on a pedestal expecting him to satisfy your needs. 

Remember the bible says from Romans 3:23, “humans fall short of the glory of God.” Having said, even a GODLY MAN will sooner or later hurt you, because HE IS NOT GOD. 

Rather, allow God to work on you. Be that Proverbs 31 Woman who knows what she wants in her life.

0

Idolizing Marriage.

“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:12)”

Have you ever wanted something in your life, so badly? Whether it is your job, money, fame or a person, we all have secret desires. In my case, I want MARRIAGE.

Following Jesus for almost two years takes a lot of effort. Actually, not from you, but Him. 

After submitting my life to Christ, and being single for a year, I thought I was all set. I was mentally, psychologically and physically prepared for my future spouse. I prayed hard for Him to answer. I was very impatient.

I started asking God for a husband, until He sent what I needed. Yet, I was slow and careful in entering this relationship because I never wanted to get hurt. Nevertheless, I still grabbed the opportunity because of God’s comfirmation.

Over the course of our relationship, I know HE IS THE ONE — simply because GOD SAID SO

I started rushing things, bringing the idea of marriage into it. In my mind, I have this picture of him and I saying our vows in the eyes of God. However, my future spouse isn’t ready yet. 

He asked me to wait, while working on his relationship with God and his dreams. Although I completely understand what he wants, I started losing my patience.

I started to question Jesus regarding the man He sent me. My fears crippled in my heart, and raised in my thoughts. I tried to take things on my own, almost acted in God’s behalf. 

I was selfish, not thinking about how my future spouse would feel. I constantly tried ending our relationship. Forcing him to marry me, else I would leave him. I even prayed hard to God, and asked for his wisdom over and over again if this relationship is really a part of His plans.

Until one day, I encountered this ministry about “Praying for your Future Spouse.” I realized that it is neither God nor my future spouse that was wrong, rather it was ME.

I idolized the idea of marriage. In my head, I created this picture of wedding and fairy tale endings. Thinking that it is okay to be in love with the idea because marriage is from God. The bible said, it is not good for man to be alone. So I craved for it, and I WAS WRONG. It became my IDOL.

I REPENTED and asked for God’s FORGIVENESS. I prayed for God to cleanse my heart of impurities, or anything that takes me away from His love. That He still needs to be NUMBER ONE in my life. 

I realized marriage will NEVER complete me, that it takes HARD WORK of patience and unconditional love. And I’m not quite ready for that yet.

Nevertheless, God is FAITHFUL enough to continuously work on my heart, preparing me to be the RIGHT PERSON for my future spouse. He asked me to TRY IT AGAIN, but this time, WITH HIM. Thus, simply enjoying the courting period with my boyfriend, and helping each other to grow closer to Him. 

Meanwhile, I will continue what God ordained me to do — MINISTRY. Waiting period could get lonely, but I know God is able. That He operates in SEASONS, so surely it will happen no matter how long it takes. All I need is FAITH



And to my boyfriend, know that I will wait for you — when you’re finally ready because God already told you so.

0

A bad start for 2014.

New Year, brand new start, new beginnings.

New year is all about reuniting and forgiving each and every one. So as much as possible, that’s how I want my 2014 to be.

Last Friday, I had problems with my boyfriend’s friends. While I was on my way home, I saw one of his friend’s status on Facebook saying, “dinner with 5 people blah blah”. Down on the comments, my guy posted “hanep a”. Surprisingly, my boyfriend was not invited. Initially, my reaction was different. I had to rushed home and asked my boyfriend about that status. He said, he has no idea at all. Then, that’s when I started shaking angrily and became upset.

Beforehand, I asked his friends already if there would be a party for that night, since it was one of his friends who will celebrate a birthday. They told me it was postponed until next week. So I was a bit shocked, when I saw their status about dinner on that same night. Nevertheless, I asked my boyfriend about what really happened with him and his friends. His reaction was nothing. Due to this, I felt sorry for him, that’s why I had to post how I really felt that night on my status. After all, everyone’s entitled to their own opinion.

Thinking that all his friends would react negatively, I still did what I had to do. As much as possible, I don’t want to invade their friendship at all sort, because I have no right at all. But then again, it was my boyfriend who was hurt and affected by that dinner issue.

Day after, I asked for an apology to all of his friends. Somehow, I knew I made a mistake and I felt guilty about what I posted on the social networking site. As I expected, it took them some minutes before I received a reply. Even if I was also hurt, I accepted everything they said and had no reaction except “sorry, it won’t happen again”.

Wanting a little bit of his sympathy, I told my boyfriend about what really happened. Instead of telling me that he also understand my part, I was wrong. His reaction was totally different. He nagged me and told me that I should have not interfere with him and his friends’ issue, because I’m not a part of their circle. However, I didn’t mean to invade their friendship at any sort, I only felt bad because of what they did to him. But still, his reaction was negative. So I had no choice, but to apologize to him as well.

After these bad issues that happened, I asked myself why I had to experience these. What could I’ve possibly done wrong, to deserve this treatment from him and everyone around him? I really felt sad and more depressed. Although I had an issue with them back in 2008, I’ve already moved on. Why can’t they?

I envy those girls who were not judge by their boyfriend’s family or friends. If only I could be like them. Sigh.