You know it’s true love when you want them to be happy, even if you’re not a part of it.
People would ask me,
Cam, why are you not yet together?
And I would say,
because we are taking our time.
This is the normal response that I give to everyone, who would ask me why I’m not yet in a relationship with the Indian guy. On my part, I know I’ve already moved on from my previous relationship. Even before I met the Indian guy, I’m already coping with single hood. However, it’s not the case for him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to imply that he is in a relationship. Indian guy is totally single, I’m just not sure if we are on the same level.
After nine months of coming here to Manila, it was just four months ago that he broke up with his ex girlfriend. Or should I say, his ex broke up with him. He was emotionally reck and depressed after that incident. However, he had no choice but to cope with the decision that his ex made. So for four months, he’s completely single, until he met me.
For almost a month, we are exclusively seeing each other. Things are turning really good for both of us. Nevertheless, he is my perfect combination in all aspect. Unfortunately, every relationship has its flaws. In our case, I think this Indian guy is not yet over with his ex girlfriend. Occasionally, he would rant to me about his ex. He says that he is so upset that his ex girlfriend cheated on her, despite the fact that he didn’t do anything wrong. And so I would respond on the neutral state, because I don’t want to be biased. But there are times that I would feel really sad, every time he will talk to this girl. As you don’t know, his ex girlfriend is ill. She is starting to have a colon cancer, although it was not yet medically confirmed. So I being the third party on the situation, I would tell this guy that he should understand what this girl is going through because she’s sick. And so he would agree with me.
Now, he’s back in his home town for a three weeks vacation. A while ago, we were talking over whatsapp, he told me that his ex was asking if he’s back in India. He told me he wants to call the girl, so he could ask her about how she’s coping with her sickness. Actually, I was the one who suggested on him to give his ex girlfriend a call. In a few minutes from now, I think they’re probably talking to each other already.
Somehow, I feel pain inside. Maybe because I hate the fact that he still talks to his ex. But I cannot be upset on him. Why? First, we are not in a relationship. Second, his happiness, is also my happiness. For the first time, I’ve never felt this way towards someone. Normally, I would go out of the picture if I see that this guy is putting me on a rebound situation. But now, it’s not the case. Sometimes, I think this is my karma. The comeback of all the pain that I caused my ex boyfriend. For cheating at my ex and dating several men, knowing that these are all in a relationship as well. But when I remember God, I know that’s not the situation. I know I met this guy for a reason. He is in my life now either he is a blessing, or a lesson. God moves in His mysterious ways. He has greater plans for all of us. Like what I said, I was never like this before. Right now, it’s not the case.
Even if I’m in pain, even if I wish I could tell him to stop talking to his ex, I couldn’t. Instead, I’m trying to be the bigger person. I’m trying to understand the situation, even if it’s so hard to understand. And I pray to God that he may find inner peace and happiness, even if in the end, I’m not going to be a part of it.
At last, I can say that I’m ready Lord for the right person. I’m ready to fall in love once again. This time, I need your guidance. I’ll just wait for your perfect timing.