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Idolizing Marriage.

“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:12)”

Have you ever wanted something in your life, so badly? Whether it is your job, money, fame or a person, we all have secret desires. In my case, I want MARRIAGE.

Following Jesus for almost two years takes a lot of effort. Actually, not from you, but Him. 

After submitting my life to Christ, and being single for a year, I thought I was all set. I was mentally, psychologically and physically prepared for my future spouse. I prayed hard for Him to answer. I was very impatient.

I started asking God for a husband, until He sent what I needed. Yet, I was slow and careful in entering this relationship because I never wanted to get hurt. Nevertheless, I still grabbed the opportunity because of God’s comfirmation.

Over the course of our relationship, I know HE IS THE ONE — simply because GOD SAID SO

I started rushing things, bringing the idea of marriage into it. In my mind, I have this picture of him and I saying our vows in the eyes of God. However, my future spouse isn’t ready yet. 

He asked me to wait, while working on his relationship with God and his dreams. Although I completely understand what he wants, I started losing my patience.

I started to question Jesus regarding the man He sent me. My fears crippled in my heart, and raised in my thoughts. I tried to take things on my own, almost acted in God’s behalf. 

I was selfish, not thinking about how my future spouse would feel. I constantly tried ending our relationship. Forcing him to marry me, else I would leave him. I even prayed hard to God, and asked for his wisdom over and over again if this relationship is really a part of His plans.

Until one day, I encountered this ministry about “Praying for your Future Spouse.” I realized that it is neither God nor my future spouse that was wrong, rather it was ME.

I idolized the idea of marriage. In my head, I created this picture of wedding and fairy tale endings. Thinking that it is okay to be in love with the idea because marriage is from God. The bible said, it is not good for man to be alone. So I craved for it, and I WAS WRONG. It became my IDOL.

I REPENTED and asked for God’s FORGIVENESS. I prayed for God to cleanse my heart of impurities, or anything that takes me away from His love. That He still needs to be NUMBER ONE in my life. 

I realized marriage will NEVER complete me, that it takes HARD WORK of patience and unconditional love. And I’m not quite ready for that yet.

Nevertheless, God is FAITHFUL enough to continuously work on my heart, preparing me to be the RIGHT PERSON for my future spouse. He asked me to TRY IT AGAIN, but this time, WITH HIM. Thus, simply enjoying the courting period with my boyfriend, and helping each other to grow closer to Him. 

Meanwhile, I will continue what God ordained me to do — MINISTRY. Waiting period could get lonely, but I know God is able. That He operates in SEASONS, so surely it will happen no matter how long it takes. All I need is FAITH



And to my boyfriend, know that I will wait for you — when you’re finally ready because God already told you so.

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Family Salvation. 

“What if some were unfaithful? Does their faithlessness nullify the faithfulness of God?” (Romans 3:3)

Life as a follower of Jesus does not make me perfect. I questioned God on prayers left unanswered. Oftentimes, I am impatient.

Yes, my actions may have failed. However, God is FAITHFUL to finish what He started. He strengthened me during my weakness. He lifted me up, when I was down. He had faith in me, when I have none.

True enough, the long wait is over! 

Two of my family members who neglected Jesus for the longest time, started knowing Christ. My dad surrendered his life to Jesus recently, while my brother started attending bible study and services. Praise Jesus! 

I am in awe of God’s faithfulness. From FAMILY PERSECUTION turned into HOUSEHOLD SALVATION, indeed Lord Jesus Christ kept His promises!

Now, if you are reading this testimony, DO NOT LOSE HOPE. It is never too late to surrender your life to Jesus. The bible says, “seek His kingdom first and everything shall be added to you.”

Believe in God’s faithfulness. Trust that He will make everything beautiful in His time. Keep the faith! ❤️

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Keeping that Faith. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

I’ve been through a lot in life. Broken family, relationships which ended painfully and life’s uncertainty. Oftentimes, I feel scared on what the future holds for me. Doubts filled my thoughts with despair and anxiety. I questioned myself, “can I still make it through?” 

When Jesus came into my life, everything made sense. I felt complete, loved and appreciated. For the first time in history, I felt secured — in Jesus, I have ETERNAL LIFE.

While it is true that I still face struggle daily and problems heavier than I ever had before, I know God is with me. He will always guide my path. I know all things will work together for my good because I have a God who is FAITHFUL.


Whatever God promised me — salvation of family members and marriage, God will make it happen in His PERFECT TIME. I trust Him it will all happen, no matter how long it takes. Waiting could be hard, but I’ll use it to serve and worship the Lord through ministry. 

If by any chance you face the same worries in life, DO NOT LOSE HOPE. God is able and will direct your steps according to His purpose. Keep the faith! ❤️

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Doubting God.

For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future. ❤️ 

Jeremiah 29:11

Did you ever question God? Did you ask why you have pain despite surrendering everything to Him?

Lately, my mind drifts away. Life seems to be tougher than ever. It reached the point I asked why I have struggles, anxiety and fear. To think that I’ve surrendered my life to Him. I did my part as His follower. I tried my best to share the gospel to others. All my decisions are based on His words. What could possibly go wrong?

Nevertheless, I started to feel depress. I even thought of going back to my old lifestyle, where life is way easier and carefree. Each day, “I ask, why Lord? Why do I have pain? “..

However, God is PATIENT. He knows I am weak. He is able to handle my ambiguities or doubts. More than that, God is FAITHFUL. He ALWAYS keeps His PROMISES. No amount of sin can ever change God’s mind for His greater plans and purpose in my life. 

All those times I doubted, there was no instance He never answered my questions. God wants me to HOLD ON. He wants me to have FAITH on Him. I may not understand what’s going on right now, but I TRUST Him. God knows what He is doing and He is in STILL in CONTROL. 

I realized it was never what I did for Him, rather it’s what Jesus Christ did for me in the cross — when He gave His life for my eternal life. The most perfect description of unconditional love (John 3:16). ❤️

What about you? Do you trust God? 

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An Open Letter To My Future Husband

“And God has made everything beautiful in its time” ❤️

Ecclesiastes 3:11

A Letter To My Future Husband,

As a little girl, I’ve always dream of having my own prince charming who would rescue me from the tall castle. A knight and shining armor who would slay the dragon just to be with me. Growing up, I’m in love with the same idea that chivalry is not dead. 

Little I know, I was already saved by a Man 2,000 years ago. A Man who gives UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that no gentleman can ever offer to any woman (John 3:16). He is God and Man at the same time, who went down to serve and not to be served. 

He thought me to dream BIG and believe that nothing is impossible with Him (Phil 4:13). That all I need is FAITH and a heart to OBEY His word. A Man who assures me that I am loved and worthy to be pursued. He reminds me that as long as He exist, I will NEVER be alone. A Man I call my Lord, my Savior, my King, He is Jesus Christ.

As He prepares me to a NEW SEASON, I can finally say that I am READY for you. That God molded me first to do His will and advance His kingdom. 

He is now ready to give my heart to you. That He is more than willing as long as you promise Him that you seek Him first and His kingdom. That you will honor and serve Him with all your heart. For God prepares you to take charge of our family. That you are ready to accept me and my past. That you will love my daughter Kaella, more than you will love me. 

My future husband, know that I always pray for you. I promise to honor and submit myself to you. That I will keep my purity until the day we say, I do. ❤️

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Fear not. 

“Don’t be afraid, just believe.” Mark 5:36

Have you ever been in a situation you had doubts? Whether you prayed or believed something, but never happened?

Often times, I find myself questioning why certain things are not happening. Despite praying about it, God seems to be slow in answering my prayers. I started to fear, worry and think that God is not hearing. Or probably, I’m not loud enough to say what I want. 

However, God is BIGGER than my doubts. He is able and faithful. God takes care of His sheep because He is our shepherd. He knows us by name and promises to answers our prayer whenever we call upon to Him. Little we know, God is working from the backend. 

Hence, all we need is FAITH. We have to believe and obey His word. Regardless how long it may take for God to answer, we should remember that God operates in season (Ecc 3:11). And that all things work together for the good of those who loves Him (Rom 8:28).

Step out of faith and believe that God hears us because we are His children. If you pray in name of Jesus, know that your requests are already answered. Do not be afraid, just believe. 

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Christmas Gift

Proverbs 3:12 because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

Just when I thought this Christmas is the saddest moment of my year, God showed me instead that it is the time to rejoice and start all over again.

My ex fiance left for good and went back to his country. Like a lost sheep, I was all alone and heartbrokened. I even questioned Him on why I was going through this problem.

However, it is during this hard time when God spoke to me and asked me to come home. God is my Lord and Savior, and He as my Father, disciplines me as His own daughter. He brought me back to the right track, just when I seem to be so lost. He understands how painful this discipline may be, but it is His way to remind me to trust His plans accordingly.

I know God will sustain me and help endure pain. For He gave me the most wonderful gift this Christmas, and it is the restoration of my relationship with Him.

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His timing is perfect.

God has His perfect timing.

It’s been a few weeks since I became officially single. At first, it was really hard to cope especially when some inspirations were gone. I tell myself that I’m never gonna make it and move on. However, this depression didn’t last for long. I found myself seeking for Lord’s presence.

For a while, it made me feel better. I thought I was already a full pledge Christian, until I started to struggle with my faith. Things became more complicated, ever since different issues came into my life. I had a problem with my mom which caused an argument in my family. Financial issues added up as well. Then, the British guy I met online is slowly fading away. All these made my life more difficult.

Each day started to get dark and gloomy again. Even though in my mind I was praying, my heart is not cooperating. I knew that something is wrong, so I asked for some help from my devoted Christian friends. Every day I talk to them and ask for some guidance with my struggle. So we started exchanging bible verses and religious conversations to help me ease the pain. Also, I tried to read articles about Bible and God to help me believe again. And I was right! In no time, my faith is starting to regain back, little by little.

God has always been patient at me. He knows all my worries and fears. I’m a working progress, and most of the time, I fall down. Yet, He never give up.
God is a loving God. Although it’s never easy, God promised me that it will be worth it. All I need to do is to be patient and continue walking by faith. The key is to trust Him and be patient. For some day, He’ll give me the most beautiful story, more that I could ever imagine. For the mean time, I’m blessed with other things like my daughter, family and friends. Most recent blessing from Lord, is my career. I was one of those privilege people to work in a multi national company, despite my lack of knowledge.

Bless you Lord Jesus Christ and God! Your unconditional love is enough.

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From Philippines to Netherlands, with love.

An invisible thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place and circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle. But it will never break.

Do you believe that you just don’t meet someone for nothing? Or do you think there is a reason on why we bump on a random person? I certainly believe God brings people in our lives for a purpose.

A month after I resigned from work, I started to play my brother’s game which is GTA 5 Online. Probably out of boredom that’s why. As days pass by, I started to fell in love with the game. Eventually, I interact with other players and gained friends. But among all these players, one male player caught my attention. He is an 18 year old guy from Netherlands. At first, we were not really interested with each other unless it’s about the game. Until one time, I asked the guy where he is from. So he said he’s from Netherlands. Silly of me to think that he said he’s from Manila! I accidentally misinterpret Netherlands from Manila. Funny but true! I don’t know how it happened, so I immediately asked him if he has social networking accounts and he said, yes. Then, I gave him my instagram account and asked if he could add me up.

After seeing his instagram account, I was shocked how handsome he is! If I were to describe this guy, he could already be compared to Austine Mahone. Way better though! On his side, he saw my instagram as well. To my surprise, he said out loud how good looking I am, LIVE on the game! I couldn’t feel so giddy anymore because the feeling is so mutual!

So we started to have small talks, until we exchanged our numbers. And it happened over night! I couldn’t be happier for giving him my number because he is such a nice guy! Although he’s 7 years younger than me, he has bigger dreams and goals. Unfortunately, he’s about to enter the Dutch military at the end of the year.

I hope this is not the last of my story with the Dutch guy.

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Valentines day.

I don’t want to sleep. I just wanna keep on loving you.

Sounds familiar? It’s a lyrics from a song called Keep on Loving you by Reo Speedwagon. Never was a fan of classic love songs until I met my guy. The same guy I’ve been talking about in this blog. And yes, he dedicated the song to me this Valentines day.

For six years, my guy never showed how much he love me, except on our first year. Every occasion on each succeeding years, I’ve never received any single flower, most especially on Valentines day. Before, I used to rant about this issue, until I finally overcome the sadness he unconsciously gives me. Nevertheless, I get used to it.

However, some sort of miracle happens. This Valentines day of 2014, God made His way to my boyfriend’s mind and heart. This boy did something I never expected.

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As you see on the photo, he posted a status on his Facebook and tagged me. It’s so clear how sweet he is with his words which are carefully handpicked for this occasion. I was literally shaking and speechless. It might be simple and ordinary compared to other couples out there, but for me, it meant the world.

Probably, this is the best Valentines date so far. And I’m looking forward to succeeding years of our relationship.