Forever is not enough.

I want you to know that I don’t care about forever. I want you for as long as I’m meant to have you.

Seeing someone cries in front of you, creates a small spot on your heart. But to see a grown up man cry, it will not only create a spot, but it will literally make your heart melt. This is exactly how I felt when I saw you weep. For that moment you might be weak and vulnerable, but for me that’s not the case. Thus, you were just emotional and being true to yourself.

We were planning about the future, which is somehow we are not together. Yes, a future where we will never end up together. You told me you’ll eventually end up with an Indian girl, just like how your parents wish. Unfortunately, you added that there is nothing you can do about it. And to be very frank with you, it hurt me.

Hearing these things from you, inflicted pain. I was thinking on how you can even say that you’ll never end up with me. But seeing those tears coming down from your eyes, made me weak. Trust me, for a moment I was speechless. It was my first time to see you cry. Scratch that, it is actually my first time to see a man literally sobbing. And I admire you for being real. You told me you don’t want to lose me. You even asked me why we needed to meet, if eventually we’ll part ways. And you even made it clearer, how much you love me.

But guess what? I love you too. I want to cry just like you. But I chose not to. I needed to be strong for you, when you feel weak. I want to be your shoulder to cry on. On the other side though, I wanted to tell you to fight for me and never let go. I wanted to ask you to just stay with me forever, but I couldn’t. I am not selfish. I care about you and how you would feel. I know you love your parents and I want you to be with them. Even if the consequence is for you to lose me, I’ll do it just to see you happy.

So I have decided to live at the moment and enjoy every single minute of it. I’ll not expect forever on your end, and will just accept things that I cannot change. For I know, God has greater plans on why we’ve crossed each other’s path. Whatever that reason may be, we still opt to know.


Jet lag.

Miles can’t separate two hearts that care for each other.

Have you ever felt so unselfishly inlove with someone? That you’re willing to take any risk just to make them happy.

After almost three months of separation from my long term boyfriend, I remained single despite the chance of flirting with other men. I know I had the Dutch guy when I broke up with my ex but still, I had to let go because I know it’s not worth it. During those times, I was devastated and I had no one to cling on, until I found God. Each passing day, my life revolved around Him. He was the only one who inspired me and loved me when I had no one, up until this day. I was very patient with His plans and I trust His perfect timing for every thing. I prayed that one day, He will give me the right guy, granted with three specific signs I asked from Him.

Nevertheless, I’m happy alone and more focused with my daughter, family, career and friends. Until I met this guy at work, my life started to become more colorful again. The first time I saw him, I thought this foreign guy is really cute. He was very polite when I was introduced to him. On a daily basis, we never really talked. Whenever I see him, I can’t even say hi because I was too shy. I realized, I don’t have any chance to talk to this guy. But God made His way.

It was during typhoon Glenda when things started to change. Despite the strong wind and rain, I still went to work to finish some pending tasks. Initially, I thought no one would be in the office except for me and my boss. But to my surprise, this Indian guy approached us to say hi. At that moment, I knew in myself that I already had a huge crush on him. So I was trying to be casual while talking to them. And that’s how it all started.

Just like how normal love stories start, he initially added me in the office communicator, asked for my number (even if he already had my number beforehand), invited me for a dinner, went out for a movie, etc. Moreover, he was very consistent in having this constant communication with me. Despite the language barrier, we still managed to talk long hours about random stuff. Something I never experienced before.

As we get to know each other more, I’m also starting to fall for him. Yet, I made it very clear, that I don’t want to enter any relationship as of now. It’s not that I don’t want to be serious, it’s just that, I know in myself that I’m not yet ready. It will take time. So he understood what I meant, and he agree with it. Besides, he was just four months single from his ex girlfriend. Due to this, he’s also taking his time. The feeling for each other should be there. However, we still need more time. We want to be completely ready, before we take it to the next level.

Today, he’s leaving for India and will have his three weeks vacation. For a moment, I thought I’m going be fine. Unfortunately, I’m not. Hence, I dropped him off at the airport. It has been a while since I felt really sad, especially when he went down from my car. All of a sudden, tears came down from my eyes. I knew three weeks is going to be long but, I’m willing to wait for him.

Now, I know I’m ready. I won’t give up. I guess being single for a while, made me realize things. So even if I lose this guy along the way, I’ll still be fine. God is always with me. The Indian guy should just be an additional benefit to my happiness. That’s how it should be.

Finally, I can tell the whole world that I’m willing to take the risk. This long distance thing for three weeks won’t matter, as long as we have this special feeling for each other. Yeah, I think I’m in love again. ❤️

*Please forgive me for having a lot of grammatical errors. For a moment, my mind is not working properly.


From Philippines to Netherlands, with love.

An invisible thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place and circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle. But it will never break.

Do you believe that you just don’t meet someone for nothing? Or do you think there is a reason on why we bump on a random person? I certainly believe God brings people in our lives for a purpose.

A month after I resigned from work, I started to play my brother’s game which is GTA 5 Online. Probably out of boredom that’s why. As days pass by, I started to fell in love with the game. Eventually, I interact with other players and gained friends. But among all these players, one male player caught my attention. He is an 18 year old guy from Netherlands. At first, we were not really interested with each other unless it’s about the game. Until one time, I asked the guy where he is from. So he said he’s from Netherlands. Silly of me to think that he said he’s from Manila! I accidentally misinterpret Netherlands from Manila. Funny but true! I don’t know how it happened, so I immediately asked him if he has social networking accounts and he said, yes. Then, I gave him my instagram account and asked if he could add me up.

After seeing his instagram account, I was shocked how handsome he is! If I were to describe this guy, he could already be compared to Austine Mahone. Way better though! On his side, he saw my instagram as well. To my surprise, he said out loud how good looking I am, LIVE on the game! I couldn’t feel so giddy anymore because the feeling is so mutual!

So we started to have small talks, until we exchanged our numbers. And it happened over night! I couldn’t be happier for giving him my number because he is such a nice guy! Although he’s 7 years younger than me, he has bigger dreams and goals. Unfortunately, he’s about to enter the Dutch military at the end of the year.

I hope this is not the last of my story with the Dutch guy.


Valentines day.

I don’t want to sleep. I just wanna keep on loving you.

Sounds familiar? It’s a lyrics from a song called Keep on Loving you by Reo Speedwagon. Never was a fan of classic love songs until I met my guy. The same guy I’ve been talking about in this blog. And yes, he dedicated the song to me this Valentines day.

For six years, my guy never showed how much he love me, except on our first year. Every occasion on each succeeding years, I’ve never received any single flower, most especially on Valentines day. Before, I used to rant about this issue, until I finally overcome the sadness he unconsciously gives me. Nevertheless, I get used to it.

However, some sort of miracle happens. This Valentines day of 2014, God made His way to my boyfriend’s mind and heart. This boy did something I never expected.


As you see on the photo, he posted a status on his Facebook and tagged me. It’s so clear how sweet he is with his words which are carefully handpicked for this occasion. I was literally shaking and speechless. It might be simple and ordinary compared to other couples out there, but for me, it meant the world.

Probably, this is the best Valentines date so far. And I’m looking forward to succeeding years of our relationship.