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To You. 

In love, there is no fear. Rather, perfect love casts out fear.

1 John 4:18

No amount of words could ever describe the pain I feel at the moment. The feeling is so familiar. It reminds me of a situation occured in the past that led me completely to God’s arms.

Before I said “yes” to the relationship, I deeply prayed about it. In which every decision I take, I ask God for His guidance. 

I still remember those times I always want to leave because I was so scared to fall in love again. However, God asked me to STAY and I did. Trusting God without having any assurance is walking by faith. As Christians, we are called to trust in the Lord. In which, I did exactly as commanded. I could not forget this instagram post, 

Try again, this time with God.

And so I did..

I might not understand what’s happening, all I know is what I feel for you — I love you.. so much.. I prayed for you.. I prayed for God’s will.. I prayed for you to surrender your life to Him.. That you will love and honor God more than me.. 

Trust me, I never wanted to give up. I want to stay. I could trade anything in the world now, just to be with you. 

I may be so scared right now, on what will happen. All I know is that God loved me unconditionally knowing that I might never love Him back, and as a Christian — He wants me to be Christlike. He wants me to LOVE unconditionally with NO FEAR. And that is what I want to do.. 

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Doubting God.

For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future. ❤️ 

Jeremiah 29:11

Did you ever question God? Did you ask why you have pain despite surrendering everything to Him?

Lately, my mind drifts away. Life seems to be tougher than ever. It reached the point I asked why I have struggles, anxiety and fear. To think that I’ve surrendered my life to Him. I did my part as His follower. I tried my best to share the gospel to others. All my decisions are based on His words. What could possibly go wrong?

Nevertheless, I started to feel depress. I even thought of going back to my old lifestyle, where life is way easier and carefree. Each day, “I ask, why Lord? Why do I have pain? “..

However, God is PATIENT. He knows I am weak. He is able to handle my ambiguities or doubts. More than that, God is FAITHFUL. He ALWAYS keeps His PROMISES. No amount of sin can ever change God’s mind for His greater plans and purpose in my life. 

All those times I doubted, there was no instance He never answered my questions. God wants me to HOLD ON. He wants me to have FAITH on Him. I may not understand what’s going on right now, but I TRUST Him. God knows what He is doing and He is in STILL in CONTROL. 

I realized it was never what I did for Him, rather it’s what Jesus Christ did for me in the cross — when He gave His life for my eternal life. The most perfect description of unconditional love (John 3:16). ❤️

What about you? Do you trust God?