Forever is not enough.

I want you to know that I don’t care about forever. I want you for as long as I’m meant to have you.

Seeing someone cries in front of you, creates a small spot on your heart. But to see a grown up man cry, it will not only create a spot, but it will literally make your heart melt. This is exactly how I felt when I saw you weep. For that moment you might be weak and vulnerable, but for me that’s not the case. Thus, you were just emotional and being true to yourself.

We were planning about the future, which is somehow we are not together. Yes, a future where we will never end up together. You told me you’ll eventually end up with an Indian girl, just like how your parents wish. Unfortunately, you added that there is nothing you can do about it. And to be very frank with you, it hurt me.

Hearing these things from you, inflicted pain. I was thinking on how you can even say that you’ll never end up with me. But seeing those tears coming down from your eyes, made me weak. Trust me, for a moment I was speechless. It was my first time to see you cry. Scratch that, it is actually my first time to see a man literally sobbing. And I admire you for being real. You told me you don’t want to lose me. You even asked me why we needed to meet, if eventually we’ll part ways. And you even made it clearer, how much you love me.

But guess what? I love you too. I want to cry just like you. But I chose not to. I needed to be strong for you, when you feel weak. I want to be your shoulder to cry on. On the other side though, I wanted to tell you to fight for me and never let go. I wanted to ask you to just stay with me forever, but I couldn’t. I am not selfish. I care about you and how you would feel. I know you love your parents and I want you to be with them. Even if the consequence is for you to lose me, I’ll do it just to see you happy.

So I have decided to live at the moment and enjoy every single minute of it. I’ll not expect forever on your end, and will just accept things that I cannot change. For I know, God has greater plans on why we’ve crossed each other’s path. Whatever that reason may be, we still opt to know.

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