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Song for you.

Thank God I Found You

I would give up everything
Before I’d separate myself from you
After so much suffering
I’ve finally found a man that’s true

I was all by myself for the longest time
So cold inside
And the hurt from the heart it would not subside
I felt like dying until you saved my life

Thank God I found you, I was lost without you
My every wish and every dream somehow became reality
When you brought the sunlight, completed my whole life
I’m overwhelmed with gratitude ’cause baby, I’m so thankful I found you

I would give you everything
There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do
To ensure your happiness
I’ll cherish every part of you

Because without you beside me I can’t survive
I don’t wanna try
If you’re keeping me warm each and every night
I’ll be all right ’cause I need you in my life

Thank God I found you
(I’m begging you)
I was lost without you
(So lost without you)
My every wish and every dream
(Every dream, every dream)
Somehow became reality

When you brought the sunlight
(Brought the sunlight)
Completed my whole life
I’m overwhelmed with gratitude ’cause baby, I’m so thankful I found you

See I was so desolate before you came to me
Looking back, I guess it shows that we were destined to shine
After the rain to appreciate, the gift of what we have
And I’d go through it all over again to be able to feel this way

Thank God I found you
I was lost without you
(Lost without you, baby)
My every wish and every dream somehow became reality

When you brought the sunlight
Completed my whole life
(Whole life)
I’m overwhelmed with gratitude, sweet baby, I’m so thankful I found you

Thank God I found you, I was lost without you
I’m overwhelmed with gratitude, my baby, I’m so thankful I found you
I’m overwhelmed with gratitude, my baby, I’m so thankful I found you

Credits: Mariah Carey – Thank God I Found You Lyrics | MetroLyrics

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He has plans.

God has greater plans.

Lately, I’ve been pondering about us. I never thought we were going to be this close. Back then, I was just trying to get a glimpse of you from my work desk. Now, I’m already in your arms. Frankly speaking, a lot of things have changed ever since I met you.

As each day pass by, things are starting to get more serious. Somehow, it’s complicated because of some issues that revolves around it. Initially, I thought of giving up. But each time I see your face, I’m ready for war.

It’s not by chance that I met you, I believe that there’s more to that. God brought us to each other’s lives for a reason. Something that we are not aware of. Probably, we won’t understand it for now, but sooner or later, it will be all clear.

For all the pain that this relationship have caused me, I know it’s worth the risk. First time that I’ve ever loved someone so unconditional, even if I know there’s a bigger chance for me to get hurt, I still don’t mind at all. I trust God and His greater plans. So even if you decide to leave me, that’s okay. One day, all my questions will be properly answered.

I’m still here. I trust every word that you said. I’ll cling on to your promises. I’ll hang on, okay?

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Unselfish love.

You know it’s true love when you want them to be happy, even if you’re not a part of it.

People would ask me,

Cam, why are you not yet together?

And I would say,

because we are taking our time.

This is the normal response that I give to everyone, who would ask me why I’m not yet in a relationship with the Indian guy. On my part, I know I’ve already moved on from my previous relationship. Even before I met the Indian guy, I’m already coping with single hood. However, it’s not the case for him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to imply that he is in a relationship. Indian guy is totally single, I’m just not sure if we are on the same level.

After nine months of coming here to Manila, it was just four months ago that he broke up with his ex girlfriend. Or should I say, his ex broke up with him. He was emotionally reck and depressed after that incident. However, he had no choice but to cope with the decision that his ex made. So for four months, he’s completely single, until he met me.

For almost a month, we are exclusively seeing each other. Things are turning really good for both of us. Nevertheless, he is my perfect combination in all aspect. Unfortunately, every relationship has its flaws. In our case, I think this Indian guy is not yet over with his ex girlfriend. Occasionally, he would rant to me about his ex. He says that he is so upset that his ex girlfriend cheated on her, despite the fact that he didn’t do anything wrong. And so I would respond on the neutral state, because I don’t want to be biased. But there are times that I would feel really sad, every time he will talk to this girl. As you don’t know, his ex girlfriend is ill. She is starting to have a colon cancer, although it was not yet medically confirmed. So I being the third party on the situation, I would tell this guy that he should understand what this girl is going through because she’s sick. And so he would agree with me.

Now, he’s back in his home town for a three weeks vacation. A while ago, we were talking over whatsapp, he told me that his ex was asking if he’s back in India. He told me he wants to call the girl, so he could ask her about how she’s coping with her sickness. Actually, I was the one who suggested on him to give his ex girlfriend a call. In a few minutes from now, I think they’re probably talking to each other already.

Somehow, I feel pain inside. Maybe because I hate the fact that he still talks to his ex. But I cannot be upset on him. Why? First, we are not in a relationship. Second, his happiness, is also my happiness. For the first time, I’ve never felt this way towards someone. Normally, I would go out of the picture if I see that this guy is putting me on a rebound situation. But now, it’s not the case. Sometimes, I think this is my karma. The comeback of all the pain that I caused my ex boyfriend. For cheating at my ex and dating several men, knowing that these are all in a relationship as well. But when I remember God, I know that’s not the situation. I know I met this guy for a reason. He is in my life now either he is a blessing, or a lesson. God moves in His mysterious ways. He has greater plans for all of us. Like what I said, I was never like this before. Right now, it’s not the case.

Even if I’m in pain, even if I wish I could tell him to stop talking to his ex, I couldn’t. Instead, I’m trying to be the bigger person. I’m trying to understand the situation, even if it’s so hard to understand. And I pray to God that he may find inner peace and happiness, even if in the end, I’m not going to be a part of it.

At last, I can say that I’m ready Lord for the right person. I’m ready to fall in love once again. This time, I need your guidance. I’ll just wait for your perfect timing.

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On repeat.

Jet Lag
– Simple Plan ft. Natasha Beningfield

So Jet Lagged
What time is it where you are?
I miss you more than anything
And back at home you feel so far
Waitin’ for the phone to ring
It’s gettin’ lonely livin’ upside down
I don’t even wanna be in this town
Tryin’ to figure out the time zones makin’ me crazy

You say good morning
When it’s midnight
Going out of my head
Alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
And it’s driving me mad
I miss you so bad
And my heart, heart, heart is so jet-lagged
Heart, heart, heart is so jet-lagged
Heart, heart, heart is so jet-lagged, is so jet-lagged

What time is it where you are?
Five more days and I’ll be home
I keep your picture in my car
I hate the thought of you alone
I’ve been keepin’ busy all the time
Just to try to keep you off my mind
Tryin’ to figure out the time zones makin’ me crazy

You say good morning
When it’s midnight
Going out of my head
Alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
And it’s drivin’ me mad
I miss you so bad
And my heart, heart, heart is so jet-lagged
Heart, heart, heart is so jet-lagged
Heart, heart, heart is so jet-lagged, is so jet lagged

I miss you so bad [x5]
I wanna share your horizon
I miss you so bad
And see the same sun rising
I miss you so bad
And turn the hour hand back to when you were holding me.

You say good morning
When it’s midnight
Going out of my head
Alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
And it’s drivin’ me mad
I miss when you say good morning
But it’s midnight
Going out of my head
Alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
And it’s drivin’ me mad
I miss you so bad
And my heart, heart, heart is so jet-lagged
Heart, heart, heart is so jet-lagged
Heart, heart, heart is so jet-lagged, is so jet-lagged, is so jet-lagged

credits: azlyrics.com

2

Jet lag.

Miles can’t separate two hearts that care for each other.

Have you ever felt so unselfishly inlove with someone? That you’re willing to take any risk just to make them happy.

After almost three months of separation from my long term boyfriend, I remained single despite the chance of flirting with other men. I know I had the Dutch guy when I broke up with my ex but still, I had to let go because I know it’s not worth it. During those times, I was devastated and I had no one to cling on, until I found God. Each passing day, my life revolved around Him. He was the only one who inspired me and loved me when I had no one, up until this day. I was very patient with His plans and I trust His perfect timing for every thing. I prayed that one day, He will give me the right guy, granted with three specific signs I asked from Him.

Nevertheless, I’m happy alone and more focused with my daughter, family, career and friends. Until I met this guy at work, my life started to become more colorful again. The first time I saw him, I thought this foreign guy is really cute. He was very polite when I was introduced to him. On a daily basis, we never really talked. Whenever I see him, I can’t even say hi because I was too shy. I realized, I don’t have any chance to talk to this guy. But God made His way.

It was during typhoon Glenda when things started to change. Despite the strong wind and rain, I still went to work to finish some pending tasks. Initially, I thought no one would be in the office except for me and my boss. But to my surprise, this Indian guy approached us to say hi. At that moment, I knew in myself that I already had a huge crush on him. So I was trying to be casual while talking to them. And that’s how it all started.

Just like how normal love stories start, he initially added me in the office communicator, asked for my number (even if he already had my number beforehand), invited me for a dinner, went out for a movie, etc. Moreover, he was very consistent in having this constant communication with me. Despite the language barrier, we still managed to talk long hours about random stuff. Something I never experienced before.

As we get to know each other more, I’m also starting to fall for him. Yet, I made it very clear, that I don’t want to enter any relationship as of now. It’s not that I don’t want to be serious, it’s just that, I know in myself that I’m not yet ready. It will take time. So he understood what I meant, and he agree with it. Besides, he was just four months single from his ex girlfriend. Due to this, he’s also taking his time. The feeling for each other should be there. However, we still need more time. We want to be completely ready, before we take it to the next level.

Today, he’s leaving for India and will have his three weeks vacation. For a moment, I thought I’m going be fine. Unfortunately, I’m not. Hence, I dropped him off at the airport. It has been a while since I felt really sad, especially when he went down from my car. All of a sudden, tears came down from my eyes. I knew three weeks is going to be long but, I’m willing to wait for him.

Now, I know I’m ready. I won’t give up. I guess being single for a while, made me realize things. So even if I lose this guy along the way, I’ll still be fine. God is always with me. The Indian guy should just be an additional benefit to my happiness. That’s how it should be.

Finally, I can tell the whole world that I’m willing to take the risk. This long distance thing for three weeks won’t matter, as long as we have this special feeling for each other. Yeah, I think I’m in love again. ❤️

*Please forgive me for having a lot of grammatical errors. For a moment, my mind is not working properly.