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Keep the faith in Him.

God didn’t bring you this far to abandon you.

A few days ago, I have never felt so much pain in my heart. After I broke up with my ex boyfriend of six years, I felt complete sadness. Things got worse when the Dutch boy also left me after a week of making me fall for him. My world suddenly fell apart. The pain was so severe that I couldn’t afford to go on with life. I was completely insane, so I called my friends every night to get drunk and wasted. I thought drinking would take away the sadness, but I was wrong. Yes, it made me feel numb for a moment, but immense after being sober. My mind and heart are completely shattered.

During this downfall, it was when I completely felt the presence of our Lord. He made His way to help me and bring me back up to live. When I was alone and scared, it was God who was there and ready to love me UNCONDITIONALLY. So I prayed and decided to submit myself wholeheartedly to Him. But in order for me to do that, I asked for everyone’s forgiveness especially those whom I hurt and caused pain. Moreover, I sacrificed all the superficial things that I once didn’t want to let go.

After doing all these, I have never felt so much relief and happiness! The genuine happiness and peace of mind that I’m longing for are given to me. God made His way into my heart because I submitted myself to Him. Silly of me not to realize that all He ever wanted is for me to submit my heart and soul. Even if it caused me everything! For I know that God will never abandon me.

Now, I want to share this reflection to all of you. Seek His love and you’ll forever be happy. His love alone could complete us.

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End.

She started living the life she imagined.

June 16, 2014 is the day I ended my six years relationship with my boyfriend. The day that I’ll never forget and soon might regret.

It was not easy to decide and stick with my decision. At first, I thought I could never end something that has been a big part of my life. I owe my ex boyfriend for having a beautiful daughter, whom I can call my own. He was the father of my kid, and that won’t change. He is my first in everything. However, things are not how it used to be. A lot has changed.

Countless times that I cheated on my ex. I could no longer keep track on how many men that I shortly dated, while I was in a relationship. I was selfish because I didn’t care on those people whom I got hurt. The only person I cared about is myself. If I deserve anything, that would be my karma. And I’m just waiting for it.

Oftentimes, I ask myself what if I didn’t commit infidelity, would God spare me from pain? I can’t remember how painful it was on those days that I was still in a relationship. Every day I would pray that I would be treated with respect and care. Each day I ask for unconditional love for my mistakes. Each moment, I only wish for happiness. And yet, I didn’t get any.

Now, it’s time to set things right. It is the right time to grow and change for the best. Someday, he would thank me for this. I just hope there would be no more regrets, but only forgiveness.

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Better plan.

He always has a plan for us.

Ever wonder why God would give us something and eventually takes it away? Most people in my life were neither taken or left. I know I don’t have any right to question our Lord about these things. He has sole plan for each one of us. And to that, I always believe.

Aside from my boyfriend, there were several men who entered my life. Most of them left in a month or so. Leaving me always speechless. Whenever I try to work things out with these men, I always end up with the same guy, and that is my boyfriend. Somehow I ask myself, am I a natural cheater? Or I’m just no longer happy? Questions that seemed easy to ask. But hard to be answered.

The current boy that I’m into, is the same boy from my previous entry. He’s none other than, the foreign guy from Netherlands. He simply blows me away with his passion for music. Our endless conversations with a different timezone, made it more special than the others. Although he’s way younger than me, we seem to have the same level of perspective. He’s currently making me happy, but I’m scared of what things could be. Every day I ask God not to take him away from me, even if it’s wrong. I should not be doing this because I don’t have any right.

I shouldn’t be expecting on good things to happen. Although God will give me the right man, for I know He has better plans. I still have one wish.

I want an escape. I want to be happy.

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From Philippines to Netherlands, with love.

An invisible thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place and circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle. But it will never break.

Do you believe that you just don’t meet someone for nothing? Or do you think there is a reason on why we bump on a random person? I certainly believe God brings people in our lives for a purpose.

A month after I resigned from work, I started to play my brother’s game which is GTA 5 Online. Probably out of boredom that’s why. As days pass by, I started to fell in love with the game. Eventually, I interact with other players and gained friends. But among all these players, one male player caught my attention. He is an 18 year old guy from Netherlands. At first, we were not really interested with each other unless it’s about the game. Until one time, I asked the guy where he is from. So he said he’s from Netherlands. Silly of me to think that he said he’s from Manila! I accidentally misinterpret Netherlands from Manila. Funny but true! I don’t know how it happened, so I immediately asked him if he has social networking accounts and he said, yes. Then, I gave him my instagram account and asked if he could add me up.

After seeing his instagram account, I was shocked how handsome he is! If I were to describe this guy, he could already be compared to Austine Mahone. Way better though! On his side, he saw my instagram as well. To my surprise, he said out loud how good looking I am, LIVE on the game! I couldn’t feel so giddy anymore because the feeling is so mutual!

So we started to have small talks, until we exchanged our numbers. And it happened over night! I couldn’t be happier for giving him my number because he is such a nice guy! Although he’s 7 years younger than me, he has bigger dreams and goals. Unfortunately, he’s about to enter the Dutch military at the end of the year.

I hope this is not the last of my story with the Dutch guy.