Learn to accept things you can’t change.
Lately, I’ve been dealing with a lot of problems. This year hasn’t been really good to me. Still, I’m thankful that I’m blessed for having great people in my life.
To start of, my dad and I are not in good terms. He left us when I was 11. Although he’s outside Philippines, we still find time to talk. My dad has other women, and that’s one of the reasons, why he never worked it out with my mom. At his old age now, he still plays it with women. With younger girls, so to speak. It annoys me, every time he post photos of these girls on his Facebook.
A while ago, he really pissed me off. Apparently, my dad tagged this girl on one of my photos. Aside from that, he posted some of their conversation on public. So I talked to him and confronted him of what he did. As her daughter, I made him feel that what he did, was disrespectful on my part. But instead of asking for an apology, he nagged me and told me things that hurt me more. In return, I answered back due to so much pain in my heart. Now, things aren’t good between my dad and I.
On the other hand, I’m still depressed with my current household situation. Since my dad left us, I already took over his responsibility. Financially, I support my mom and my brother. Not only that, I also have a daughter to provide to. Imagine all these responsibilities that’s being shouldered by a 24 year old lady. For some, I may be over reacting, but believe it or not, women of my age are probably making the most out of their career and love life.
Aside from these problems, my relationship with my boyfriend is quite getting complicated. Probably, it came to the point that I’m no longer happy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still inlove with him. But I know deep down, that something is missing. And this is the reason, why my relationship with him is getting destructive. Nevertheless, I cheated on him a lot of times. For some, there is no justification with what I did. But for me, there is a reason why it happened. Probably, I am no longer happy. Maybe, I’m just trying too hard to make things work. For whatever reason it may be, I know that my happiness is not the same, as what I have before.
With all these, I came into one conclusion. If I really want that genuine happiness, I need to accept things that I cannot change. Or if I don’t want to settle with these things, I need to sort things out on my own. Not only emotionally, but spiritually.
To cap off this blog, 2013 brought me a lot of changes. Some are good, and some are bad. I hope the coming year would make big changes on my life.