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Reunited, once more.

No matter how many times he fails you, you’re always there ready to keep him.

Since Monday, I never had a good sleep. Worst is, never even had any kind of food or liquid intake in my body. I’m not used to this kind of habit cause I tend to eat a lot. This simply shows how devastated I was, when my boyfriend and I broke up.

Lost of respect, that’s why we broke up. I really don’t wanna elaborate the reason anymore because I would only remember the pain I endured. The brighter thing is that, we are all good now.

How did we become okay? Even I cannot fathom on this one. I’m just happy that our relationship is quite better than before. Although emotionally speaking, I’m still hurt. The pain is constantly bugging me around. Well, what can I say? Its only been two days since we fought. Fortunately, things turned out good.

Frankly speaking, I don’t even know if I’m ready to get back with him. I know it should take time before everything comes back to normal. Emotionally, I’m not ready to reunite with my boyfriend. But as a whole being, I know I can’t afford to lose him despite all the wrong things he did. Maybe, I just can’t live without him. And all these that happened, were totally beyond my control.

My love for him did not change at all. It is there and forever will be there. Time can only tell until when it will last. But as long as he makes my heart beats fast, it will always be that same guy. Whether he fails me or not, he will always have my love until the last beat of my heart.

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Break up.

I’m not expecting everyone to understand. Not even the ones who are close to me.

Probably, this day is one of the worst days of my life. Seems like the tears falling from my eyes, are the same as the heavy raindrops falling outside of our house. Sad to say, never expected that it would all end this way.

Recently, I’ve been dreaming a lot about my boyfriend. In my dreams, he is constantly cheating on me. At first, I ignored the signs of my dreams, thinking that it’s just all my insecurities in waking life. Until this day came forward.

Out of the blue, I hacked my friend’s account just to stalk his colleague’s facebook. Unfortunately, as I was browsing his colleague’s facebook, I saw two different photos of my boyfriend. First one is him, wrapping around his arms on another girl which apparently is his trainer. The second one, is a photo of him and another girl holding his lap. Upon seeing these, I swear I was literally shaking. For a moment, it felt like I was trapped inside a box. The pain was so intense that I had to stumble upon myself. Thinking where did I go wrong?

But please don’t get me wrong, I have been a cheater for once. And I regret it all. I even admitted to my guy that I liked someone. Literally, I beg down on my knees just to win him back. With that, I promised myself not to cheat on him anymore. But still, I got into this mess. Well, I guess karma strikes back.

My feelings are all emotional. Emotions bursting into flames and ideas that even I cannot withstand. So I had to let it all out to my friends. But only a few understand my situation. Although I’m not blaming them, they could have just listen to with what I feel.

It was never been easy for me and it will never be. We haven’t talked since I broke up with him. He said he has other priorities than my constant drama. So I guess, this is where it all ends.

God, heal me.

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Insecurity.

Insecurity kills.

Lately, I’ve been getting so much attention from my jealous colleagues. I guess, this will really take a while.

My heart is saddened by their negative and unjust judgment. For some, it might be just an opinion. Nevertheless, this kind of view had already caused severe damage to my self esteem. First of all, I really don’t do this to other people. I only tend to be insecure, whenever my guy attracts other women. Other than that, I just try to live a normal, simple life. Away from limelight and eminent surroundings.

However, despite all these criticisms, I have learned to stand firmly on ground. I might have fret on this one for a while, but rest assured that I’ll be stronger than ever. Nobody can make me feel inferior, so they can become superior. I’m NEVER gonna back down.

And for my insecure office mates, this one is for you!

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